Once you start staying outside the cultural cocoon you have been brought up in, a trip back home is always a toy train ride then. You start with enjoying the trip itself and getting excited about it, the smell, the sight and the looks on the people around you matter to you as you start observing them. Just because you are enjoying the moment, you give that extra smile to the flight attendant, you strike a conversation with some stranger sitting next to your seat and in case some kids wave at you, you are almost definite to reply back. ‘The bubbly journey towards the home’.
The trip may mature to the ride through the memory lanes; remembering the days which used to go slow at the kiddish pace wherein almost all problems had only one solution – let parents handle it. Our job was limited to just informing them. Then even if you had accidentally broken a glass, spilled the milk while boiling or even spilled ink on dad’s office files (it happened to me!); it was now your perplexed parent’s job to find a solution or cope with it. At the same time it was great to rush to your parents and have the trouble taken away from you. After all they could handle everything!
But life is different now, my problems are mine. Though my mother is as inclined as ever to solve my problems, the nature of problems have changed and the decision has to be made by me only. I look in her eyes and all I can muster is a big “My mummy special” hug. I have realized with time that its not only my mother who is emotional, my father, who may not be effusive, equally longs for those express of emotions that tell him, “Thanks dad, you made right choices for family. I am proud of you!” And in case you are a girl, then he needs more emotions from you.
Yesterday while searching for some papers my hands caught an old file, it was my dad’s certificates. Now he is a man I was always encouraged by all my relatives to fall in shoes of. He was eldest in his family and my grandfather was a sepoy. Grandpa had lost his agricultural land to a flood and life had been hard ever since for his family. Dad’s fee was paid by another family and dad worked in their fields. Everybody has been telling me since childhood that I need to be as hard working as my dad and rise as higher, but then dad has been raising the bar every now or then. I knew he was topper all the while and had been a fast riser in his office too. But when I looked at that brown file it told the detailed story. My dad had got appreciation certificates saying that his name was engraved on the college wall for record performance. There were cuttings from newspaper lauding the small kid from village who topped the state in engineering college. Then there were letters from a public company who recruited him from campus (where he is still working). Looking at your father’s achievements gives you a very different feeling of pride and complacency. Even though my quoted pay is higher than his today, still I stand hundred of miles behind him. And this is not because of the state government ambassador that he been given, but the persona, the integrity and the character of the person he is.
Dad's shoes are always quite bigger to fill in!!Labels: Experiences, Philosophy
posted by Jas @ 2:30 AM,
6 Comments:
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At May 13, 2008 7:54 AM,
Pilot-Pooja said...
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Jassi, it was so touching to read this post of yours!
That really explains how you have grown so well educated, decent and full of moral values.
Please convey my best regards to your Parents for being such a source of great inspiration for many!
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At May 16, 2008 8:19 PM,
Unknown said...
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I agree Jas, our parents' shoes are too big to fill in just a fraction of it..and yes, how I wish I could go back to that time where each worry ended in 'Mom and Dad will take care'.Good one.
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At May 19, 2008 12:53 PM,
Jas said...
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Thanks a lot Pooja, those words mean lot more than weightage in ink...
Sara, as they say you live second childhood in ur kids! ur kiddo will be going through same thing right now and i know he surely he would be having a great sleep after saying his worries to you guys.
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At May 23, 2008 6:46 PM,
Pilot-Pooja said...
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a great mind like you is always welcome Jas!
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At December 27, 2008 12:30 AM,
donscave said...
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respect
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At April 25, 2009 11:00 PM,
workhard said...
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That was a really good post.. really touching and i loved it..
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